I'm writing this with mixed emotions and feelings in me right now. I really don't know how to structure this, since a bunch of shit is running through my head, so I guess the best thing I can do is think as I write.
I've been trying to sleep for about an hour now and I just can't. These thoughts keep coming to me and keep me up thinking, what did I do and how did I end up as the fuck up I am... I've had and got nobody in life, I'm contemplating killing myself more and more every day and I don't have anything to live for. I keep trying to convince myself to keep going since there's a lot more to live for like concerts and new experiences, but to push through all the torment to get to them is harder than it seems. I really want to talk to somebody about this but I know no one will listen. I try telling my family but they keep telling me the same unconvincing crap every time, and it just doesn't get to me. It's definitely NOT normal that I've been thinking of suicide since the 3rd grade, as far as I can remember. In all honesty, this is a fucking horrible start to the new year. First day of 2011 and I'm already in tears and depressed. I don't understand what is wrong with me. Why was I born this way, why do I act the way I do now? How did I get to be such a despised person that no one would give a shit about? I really don't know what else to say here... I'm gonna do something I never do and post a status on facebook pertaining to this, just to see if anyone would pay attention or have the slightest bit of care for me. I highly doubt I'll get any serious responses, if any, but whatever, at this point, I don't give a shit anymore.
All this time I've been hoping for something to come across me to change my perspective on these situations, but I know that sounds way too good to be true. Nothing will make me truly happy, and I'll just be alone my whole life. I came into this world a loser and I'm going to die a loser. I'm just that pathetic. If anyone actually does come across this, let it be known that this could make you feel better about yourself, since no one is as much of a loser and a fuck up as me. I don't know why someone would be wasting their time reading this garbage, but I just wanted to make a statement about it.
That's all I can think of right now. I'm gonna attempt to sleep again, probably listen to Devin Townsend as well, since his music is what helps me through these shitty times. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Thursday, September 23, 2010
What a shitty month.
Well, just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, they did. After feeling like shit for the entire last week, I was really hoping that this week would be so much better. Iced Earth was in town 2 days ago, some of my classes were to be canceled, and everything was just gonna go smooth. Oh was I wrong.
Sunday morning (September 19th) I woke up with horrible stomach ache. I thought it was just from eating too much at work the night before, so a couple trips to the bathroom would just flush it out and I'd feel better. I had planned to get a lot of stuff done that day, so I wanted to fix this as fast as possible. I didn't feel any better after, and later on, I began throwing up. After throwing up a few times, I just did what I could to sleep all day. I had no appetite at all, a horrible stomach ache, and later on that day, it spread to my appendix area. I thought that I should be going to the hospital, but I tried to make it through the night at home. I wasn't planning on going to school the next day for sure.
I woke up at 2 in the morning with the worst pain ever in the stomach and appendix area. I was moaning and attempting to sleep for 4 hours straight, when at 6 A.M. I decided that I needed to go to the hospital. My dad took me and later that morning I was given a CAT scan to see what was up with my stomach. Turns out I had appendicitis. Amazing. When I thought things couldn't get shittier for me, my entire Sunday was wasted, and I had to have my appendix removed and be in the hospital for another day. I also had tickets to Iced Earth the next day, so I couldn't go to that anymore. I also planned on visiting my friend at U of I this upcoming weekend, that's not happening either. All my plans were ruined.
The surgery went good, not like I could remember anything, but I was still in pain throughout the day. I was given a lot of painkillers throughout the day which helped me sleep, so that was good. My relatives came to visit me after the surgery throughout the afternoon which made me feel a lot better. I was supposed to leave Tuesday morning, but the surgeon had to check on me to make sure I was good to go. Of course, he was busy throughout the morning and day so I didn't get discharged from the hospital until 3 in the afternoon. I was in pain all that night, and walking is hard to do, but is becoming easier every day. But now, I can't really do anything. No working out, I don't have enough energy to go back to school yet, so I'm stuck at home all day doing nothing. How wonderful.
I contacted my teachers about quizzes and homework I missed and basically everything is all good. They extended my homework and I'm able to make up any quizzes I missed, so that's great. I have to go back on Friday to take a math exam, but I should be ready to go back by then anyway. Today I plan on getting an oil change for my car and possibly going to the mall to get out of the house. I'm feeling a lot better physically, so I'm able to do more things. By the first or second week of October I should be painless, right before my concert streak begins.
Emotionally, however, I'm feeling like shit. Again, right when I thought things couldn't get shittier, they did. I'm also coming to realize more things that I should have a long time ago. My relatives came all the way from DeKalb to see me in the hospital when they found out about it. Some of my friends found out about what happened, and only 3 of them asked me in some way if I was feeling better. I always knew that family will be with you the rest of your life, and that friends come and go, and every day I'm starting to lose more trust and hope in my friends. It's really becoming more evident that they don't give a shit about me, and I shouldn't be wasting my time with them. Again, I've gone out of my way and will do whatever to help them, but when it comes to me asking for one little thing, it's apparently not worth their time. None of them would want to hang out with me if it was just me and them, and I'm just there as a third wheel. We all planned on visiting a friend in Indiana in a couple weeks and going to a hog roast, but I don't think I'll be coming with. There's no point in me coming if none of them are going to interact with me, if anything they'll probably use me to drive them again and nothing more. I don't think that they would care if I didn't go anyway.
Again, September has been a very shitty month for me, and I really don't think that some freak miracle is gonna happen between now and the end of it that will make me change my mind otherwise. With all the shows I'm going to in October, and my cousin's wedding, I'm sure it will be an awesome month.
Now Playing:
Artist: MGMT
Song: Siberian Breaks
Album: Congratulations
Sunday morning (September 19th) I woke up with horrible stomach ache. I thought it was just from eating too much at work the night before, so a couple trips to the bathroom would just flush it out and I'd feel better. I had planned to get a lot of stuff done that day, so I wanted to fix this as fast as possible. I didn't feel any better after, and later on, I began throwing up. After throwing up a few times, I just did what I could to sleep all day. I had no appetite at all, a horrible stomach ache, and later on that day, it spread to my appendix area. I thought that I should be going to the hospital, but I tried to make it through the night at home. I wasn't planning on going to school the next day for sure.
I woke up at 2 in the morning with the worst pain ever in the stomach and appendix area. I was moaning and attempting to sleep for 4 hours straight, when at 6 A.M. I decided that I needed to go to the hospital. My dad took me and later that morning I was given a CAT scan to see what was up with my stomach. Turns out I had appendicitis. Amazing. When I thought things couldn't get shittier for me, my entire Sunday was wasted, and I had to have my appendix removed and be in the hospital for another day. I also had tickets to Iced Earth the next day, so I couldn't go to that anymore. I also planned on visiting my friend at U of I this upcoming weekend, that's not happening either. All my plans were ruined.
The surgery went good, not like I could remember anything, but I was still in pain throughout the day. I was given a lot of painkillers throughout the day which helped me sleep, so that was good. My relatives came to visit me after the surgery throughout the afternoon which made me feel a lot better. I was supposed to leave Tuesday morning, but the surgeon had to check on me to make sure I was good to go. Of course, he was busy throughout the morning and day so I didn't get discharged from the hospital until 3 in the afternoon. I was in pain all that night, and walking is hard to do, but is becoming easier every day. But now, I can't really do anything. No working out, I don't have enough energy to go back to school yet, so I'm stuck at home all day doing nothing. How wonderful.
I contacted my teachers about quizzes and homework I missed and basically everything is all good. They extended my homework and I'm able to make up any quizzes I missed, so that's great. I have to go back on Friday to take a math exam, but I should be ready to go back by then anyway. Today I plan on getting an oil change for my car and possibly going to the mall to get out of the house. I'm feeling a lot better physically, so I'm able to do more things. By the first or second week of October I should be painless, right before my concert streak begins.
Emotionally, however, I'm feeling like shit. Again, right when I thought things couldn't get shittier, they did. I'm also coming to realize more things that I should have a long time ago. My relatives came all the way from DeKalb to see me in the hospital when they found out about it. Some of my friends found out about what happened, and only 3 of them asked me in some way if I was feeling better. I always knew that family will be with you the rest of your life, and that friends come and go, and every day I'm starting to lose more trust and hope in my friends. It's really becoming more evident that they don't give a shit about me, and I shouldn't be wasting my time with them. Again, I've gone out of my way and will do whatever to help them, but when it comes to me asking for one little thing, it's apparently not worth their time. None of them would want to hang out with me if it was just me and them, and I'm just there as a third wheel. We all planned on visiting a friend in Indiana in a couple weeks and going to a hog roast, but I don't think I'll be coming with. There's no point in me coming if none of them are going to interact with me, if anything they'll probably use me to drive them again and nothing more. I don't think that they would care if I didn't go anyway.
Again, September has been a very shitty month for me, and I really don't think that some freak miracle is gonna happen between now and the end of it that will make me change my mind otherwise. With all the shows I'm going to in October, and my cousin's wedding, I'm sure it will be an awesome month.
Now Playing:
Artist: MGMT
Song: Siberian Breaks
Album: Congratulations
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Let's try this again.
I would say that this is my first post in a long time, but that's a lie. I did have another post on August 17th, but I ended up deleting that for I don't know what reason, probably because I was insecure about it and didn't want anyone who actually does read this to see it. So I'm gonna try this again, and this time, I'm not deleting anything.
School started 2 weeks ago, and as excited as I was to be back, it started off very bad. I'm no longer staying in the dorms, I'm living with my grandparents who live about 5 to 10 minutes away from campus, depending on how stupid people are driving. I'm also lucky enough to park at a restaurant that my family owns just outside of campus for free. As great as saving $10,000 this year on not living in the dorms is, it's kind of a pain in the ass because all my stuff was right there in my room. If I forget anything, I need to go back to my grandparent's house, which is beyond aggravating at this point. Also, my grandparents aren't back from Greece yet, so I've pretty much had no food at all in the house, especially the first week. I was pretty much starving that first week. I've been having to eat at least one meal a day at my family's restaurant, which I feel bad about, but they're cool with it, so it's good I guess. My allergies also hit me recently, so I've been sneezing non stop since that happened. Of course I forgot my Zyrtec at home, 2 weeks in a row, so that pretty much gave me hell. Hopefully I'll remember next time. I was pretty much going through shit that entire first week, and of course, it only got worse. On the Friday of the first week, my laptop decided to stop booting up, so I had to give that to Apple for repair, and that was gone until today. I had to go the entire second week without my laptop, and believe me, it was torture. That's where I planned on doing all my homework and watching TV and stuff, and that was taken away from me for a week, and to make matters worse, one of the first weeks, where I need to set everything up for some of my classes. Basically, everything that could have possibly gone wrong, did. At least I have my laptop back now, and my grandparents are coming back next weekend, so things will hopefully start to look up.
My classes aren't too bad, and my teachers are actually cool, so that's good too. As of now, my grades are actually pretty decent, so all I have to do is work hard and keep them up and I'll be good. I also met a few other people recently that all listen to metal, so hopefully I'll get to hang out with them more often. That's pretty much the only good things that have happened in the past 2 weeks, along with going out with some friends from last year. I think I'm going to do that again this upcoming Thursday, so it should be a good time.
Coming home every weekend is like a miracle for me, since it's so boring at college. Hanging out with friends here is cool, but I've been feeling bothered with that. About 2 years ago, I had to call out all my friends (on Facebook, of all fucking things) because they had been treating me like shit, and I was done taking it. It worked for a bit, but like most people, they just went back to their old habits. I really want to talk to at least one of them back here about it, but of course, I send out a mass text to the people here if they want to hang out or get dinner tonight, and none of them responded. It may be my paranoia talking, but I think they chose not to respond to my text. Again, I've always been the one who they have to treat like crap and ignore, and I don't understand why. One of the things I had in my last post that I deleted was accepting that my life is pretty much miserable and my future looks nothing short of lonely, and I'd have to say that this is one of the contributing factors. I don't do anything wrong, and I get shit for nothing. Thinking about it, if something happened to me, or if I was feeling down about myself, none of my "friends" would help me out or be there for me. I know that because the same thing happened back then, and it's happening now. I remember it clearly, none of them actually apologized to me for treating me like crap. I guess I'll have to accept that as well, along with a bunch of other bullshit in my life right now. All I really have is my family, and if I don't have that, I'll be alone. I'd really have no reason to live by then. No one else would want to support or help me. If I died, would anyone else care? I really don't think so. I'd honestly do anything to help out my "friends", but would they do the same for me?
I guess I'll have to let this pass by. Accepting that I'm going to be alone, miserable, and depressed really sucks, and it's really fucking with my mind, but nothing is proving me wrong about this otherwise. I don't think about suicide as often now because I know it would really affect my family, and them being sad is the last thing I want.
That's all I can really think of in the moment. My thoughts are just all scattered right now, and I'm basically in tears right now. Yes, I know this makes me sound like a baby or a pussy, but really, this is what I'm feeling right now and I need to let it out somehow. Nothing is good right now, everything about this is fucked. I'm really hoping that I feel better soon, but I don't know what it will take for that to happen.
Again, this is not getting deleted. If the right or wrong person sees it, whatever.
Now Playing
Artist: Ayreon
Song: Day Six: Childhood
Album: The Human Equation
School started 2 weeks ago, and as excited as I was to be back, it started off very bad. I'm no longer staying in the dorms, I'm living with my grandparents who live about 5 to 10 minutes away from campus, depending on how stupid people are driving. I'm also lucky enough to park at a restaurant that my family owns just outside of campus for free. As great as saving $10,000 this year on not living in the dorms is, it's kind of a pain in the ass because all my stuff was right there in my room. If I forget anything, I need to go back to my grandparent's house, which is beyond aggravating at this point. Also, my grandparents aren't back from Greece yet, so I've pretty much had no food at all in the house, especially the first week. I was pretty much starving that first week. I've been having to eat at least one meal a day at my family's restaurant, which I feel bad about, but they're cool with it, so it's good I guess. My allergies also hit me recently, so I've been sneezing non stop since that happened. Of course I forgot my Zyrtec at home, 2 weeks in a row, so that pretty much gave me hell. Hopefully I'll remember next time. I was pretty much going through shit that entire first week, and of course, it only got worse. On the Friday of the first week, my laptop decided to stop booting up, so I had to give that to Apple for repair, and that was gone until today. I had to go the entire second week without my laptop, and believe me, it was torture. That's where I planned on doing all my homework and watching TV and stuff, and that was taken away from me for a week, and to make matters worse, one of the first weeks, where I need to set everything up for some of my classes. Basically, everything that could have possibly gone wrong, did. At least I have my laptop back now, and my grandparents are coming back next weekend, so things will hopefully start to look up.
My classes aren't too bad, and my teachers are actually cool, so that's good too. As of now, my grades are actually pretty decent, so all I have to do is work hard and keep them up and I'll be good. I also met a few other people recently that all listen to metal, so hopefully I'll get to hang out with them more often. That's pretty much the only good things that have happened in the past 2 weeks, along with going out with some friends from last year. I think I'm going to do that again this upcoming Thursday, so it should be a good time.
Coming home every weekend is like a miracle for me, since it's so boring at college. Hanging out with friends here is cool, but I've been feeling bothered with that. About 2 years ago, I had to call out all my friends (on Facebook, of all fucking things) because they had been treating me like shit, and I was done taking it. It worked for a bit, but like most people, they just went back to their old habits. I really want to talk to at least one of them back here about it, but of course, I send out a mass text to the people here if they want to hang out or get dinner tonight, and none of them responded. It may be my paranoia talking, but I think they chose not to respond to my text. Again, I've always been the one who they have to treat like crap and ignore, and I don't understand why. One of the things I had in my last post that I deleted was accepting that my life is pretty much miserable and my future looks nothing short of lonely, and I'd have to say that this is one of the contributing factors. I don't do anything wrong, and I get shit for nothing. Thinking about it, if something happened to me, or if I was feeling down about myself, none of my "friends" would help me out or be there for me. I know that because the same thing happened back then, and it's happening now. I remember it clearly, none of them actually apologized to me for treating me like crap. I guess I'll have to accept that as well, along with a bunch of other bullshit in my life right now. All I really have is my family, and if I don't have that, I'll be alone. I'd really have no reason to live by then. No one else would want to support or help me. If I died, would anyone else care? I really don't think so. I'd honestly do anything to help out my "friends", but would they do the same for me?
I guess I'll have to let this pass by. Accepting that I'm going to be alone, miserable, and depressed really sucks, and it's really fucking with my mind, but nothing is proving me wrong about this otherwise. I don't think about suicide as often now because I know it would really affect my family, and them being sad is the last thing I want.
That's all I can really think of in the moment. My thoughts are just all scattered right now, and I'm basically in tears right now. Yes, I know this makes me sound like a baby or a pussy, but really, this is what I'm feeling right now and I need to let it out somehow. Nothing is good right now, everything about this is fucked. I'm really hoping that I feel better soon, but I don't know what it will take for that to happen.
Again, this is not getting deleted. If the right or wrong person sees it, whatever.
Now Playing
Artist: Ayreon
Song: Day Six: Childhood
Album: The Human Equation
Friday, June 18, 2010
Blah
It's Friday night, I'm bored as fuck with nothing to do, and it's been a pretty crappy day overall. I want to get out some other things I've been feeling since I have nothing else to do.
Recently, I've been wishing that I were born in a different time, specifically in the 1960s. I could be growing up in the hippie movement, the evolution of classic rock, and witness the birth of heavy metal. That's what I want most out of being my age in the late 1970s through the 1980s, to grow up with old school metalheads, the people that I actually fit in most with.
With people today, it's all about what they want out of you. They have standards, and if you want to be friends with them, you have to meet those standards so they won't be embarrassed to be with you. These kind of people are fucking retarded. I'm very glad my friends aren't like that, because they know that they don't have to meet anyone's standards, and I don't either. Back then, I'm sure it was all about being yourself. Hell, I can say that safely after seeing pictures of the metal scene in the 1980s. These people dressed in leather and jeans because it was what they wanted to wear and what expressed them the most, not because they have to. I wouldn't go that far to wearing leather and jeans because I personally don't like it, but even with the way I dress now, which is usually a band shirt and mostly basketball shorts, but jeans at shows, I'd definitely fit in with them. I want the experience to discover Death or Sepultura for the first time back when they first came out in the 1980s. I want to see broken up bands like Death or Coroner live. All music is now is pop or rap garbage, like Miley Cyrus or Lil Wayne. It's atrocious and I wish I wouldn't be growing up with this garbage.
Another important difference is technology. Of course, I have it made now. I have a laptop and a cell phone. Back then none of those were made a necessity. I want the experience to go out and not have a cell phone with me. I can just imagine this world without social networking sites. People wouldn't be freaking out about the stupidest of things, such as who's dating or who's fucking each other, especially when it's online in the public. People today are too dependent on technology. I'm on my laptop a lot, but I can definitely live without it, especially when I could be spending my time at the local record store or concert.
That brings me to my next point, record stores. All it is now is downloading music. I admit, I do it a lot as well, but I don't have the money for these records because all the money I make is going towards college. If I had a job that I was happy with and made a decent living off of, I wouldn't be going to college right now, but I am to find that kind of job. If not, I'd be spending all my money on housing, concerts, and music. And even then, there are no record stores around here. It's all in big stores such as Best Buy, and even then, there are very few metal records there. Again, it's all pop or rap garbage that plagues the music scene here.
Maybe it's where I live. I'm usually the only person around my town to be playing metal out of my car and not give a fuck about what people think of me. It's definitely obvious that this place is not for me and when I'm finished with school, I'm moving out of here as fast as possible to a place that's just right for me. Of course I'll be judged no matter where I go, but I'd rather find a place where I can actually have something in common with more people than no one at all. Thinking about it, I definitely would've had a much better experience if I were a teenager in the 1980s, and I would do anything to go back in time and experience it with all the benefits.
Now Playing:
Artist: Napalm Death
Song: Puritanical Punishment Beating
Album: Smear Campaign
Recently, I've been wishing that I were born in a different time, specifically in the 1960s. I could be growing up in the hippie movement, the evolution of classic rock, and witness the birth of heavy metal. That's what I want most out of being my age in the late 1970s through the 1980s, to grow up with old school metalheads, the people that I actually fit in most with.
With people today, it's all about what they want out of you. They have standards, and if you want to be friends with them, you have to meet those standards so they won't be embarrassed to be with you. These kind of people are fucking retarded. I'm very glad my friends aren't like that, because they know that they don't have to meet anyone's standards, and I don't either. Back then, I'm sure it was all about being yourself. Hell, I can say that safely after seeing pictures of the metal scene in the 1980s. These people dressed in leather and jeans because it was what they wanted to wear and what expressed them the most, not because they have to. I wouldn't go that far to wearing leather and jeans because I personally don't like it, but even with the way I dress now, which is usually a band shirt and mostly basketball shorts, but jeans at shows, I'd definitely fit in with them. I want the experience to discover Death or Sepultura for the first time back when they first came out in the 1980s. I want to see broken up bands like Death or Coroner live. All music is now is pop or rap garbage, like Miley Cyrus or Lil Wayne. It's atrocious and I wish I wouldn't be growing up with this garbage.
Another important difference is technology. Of course, I have it made now. I have a laptop and a cell phone. Back then none of those were made a necessity. I want the experience to go out and not have a cell phone with me. I can just imagine this world without social networking sites. People wouldn't be freaking out about the stupidest of things, such as who's dating or who's fucking each other, especially when it's online in the public. People today are too dependent on technology. I'm on my laptop a lot, but I can definitely live without it, especially when I could be spending my time at the local record store or concert.
That brings me to my next point, record stores. All it is now is downloading music. I admit, I do it a lot as well, but I don't have the money for these records because all the money I make is going towards college. If I had a job that I was happy with and made a decent living off of, I wouldn't be going to college right now, but I am to find that kind of job. If not, I'd be spending all my money on housing, concerts, and music. And even then, there are no record stores around here. It's all in big stores such as Best Buy, and even then, there are very few metal records there. Again, it's all pop or rap garbage that plagues the music scene here.
Maybe it's where I live. I'm usually the only person around my town to be playing metal out of my car and not give a fuck about what people think of me. It's definitely obvious that this place is not for me and when I'm finished with school, I'm moving out of here as fast as possible to a place that's just right for me. Of course I'll be judged no matter where I go, but I'd rather find a place where I can actually have something in common with more people than no one at all. Thinking about it, I definitely would've had a much better experience if I were a teenager in the 1980s, and I would do anything to go back in time and experience it with all the benefits.
Now Playing:
Artist: Napalm Death
Song: Puritanical Punishment Beating
Album: Smear Campaign
Concert Review - The Resurrection Macabre Tour 2010
Date: Monday, June 14th, 2010
Venue: Reggie's Rock Club, Chicago, IL. Despite so many shows being here, and them being at the most inconvenient times for me, this was my first time seeing one at this venue, and it's a pretty good venue. It's not too small, but not big, a little bigger than the Bottom Lounge. The sound was decent and it could hold a lot more people than who was there that night.
Possibly one of the most bullshit moments of my life happened when going in, though. I had ordered a ticket online the day they went on sale at enterthevault.com, so it gave me a number to show at the door, so it was basically will call. I showed them the number and they were confused to what it was, and I wasn't even on the will call list. So I had to pay the $20 I was going to use for merch to get into the show. It was fucking stupid. That's the last time I use will call for Reggie's. I may as well buy at the door there from now on, the place is in the ghetto, and no one wants to be there!
Bands (from opener to headliner): Sacrificial Slaughter, Enfold Darkness, Vital Remains, Warbringer, Pestilence
Sacrificial Slaughter: I had never heard of these guys before, but they were pretty good. They had lots of energy on stage and performed well. The one thing that bugged me though was that their drummer was god awful. It was just a slow double bass beat with no special tom or cymbal work, despite him having a decent sized kit. He used his entire arm to blast, so his technique was shit as well. Other than him, the rest of the band played great. They were giving out stickers for free so I took one on the way out. I may put it on my car, I'm not sure though.
Enfold Darkness: This was my second time seeing them, the first being at Chicago Deathfest back in November. Because of so many bands being at Deathfest, and me not even hearing of Enfold Darkness then, I couldn't remember what they sounded like, all I knew was that the singer had an epic mustache. Seeing them now with only 4 other bands, they were really good. They play a blackened death metal type of music, with clean interludes in the songs, which sound amazing. I'm definitely looking up more of their music soon and hoping to see them again sometime soon. And as opposed to Sacrificial Slaughter, their drummer is a fucking beast!
Vital Remains: Like Enfold Darkness, this was my second time seeing them, the first being at Deathfest, except this time, I knew of them back then. Like last time, they were amazing! Incredible stage presence, brutal sound, and the singer knew how to get the people moving. There were a ton of stage divers and crowd surfers halfway into their set, and security was getting pissed. Like last time, they played about 4 to 5 songs, but each one was five to seven minutes long. I'm looking forward to seeing these guys at Summer Slaughter in August, despite that they're only gonna be playing a 25 minute set because they're opening, and I still don't know how that happened, considering they're the oldest band on the lineup.
Warbringer: They weren't even headlining and everyone was there to see them, some not even for Pestilence! This was my third time seeing them, and like the past two times, they prove more why they are the best band I've seen live. Incredible energy and stage presence is an understatement, and getting the crowd moving is an easy task for them. They opened up with Jackal, Living in a Whirlwind, Severed Reality, and Total War, like the other two times I saw them, and played some different ones after. I can't remember the order for sure, but they played Prey for Death, Systematic Genocide, At the Crack of Doom, Beneath the Waves, and closed with Combat Shock. Before they played At the Crack of Doom, they decided to get a wall of death going! There had to be at least 50 people in that, because it was crazy! At the Crack of Doom was a very good song to have a wall of death going on. For 45 minutes straight, I was moshing, headbanging like crazy, or catching a breath from the stomach cramp I got by the time Severed Reality came on. It was basically my second workout of the day. After they finished, a significant amount of people left. Warbringer really needs to do a headlining tour, possibly with Gama Bomb or Evile. I really want to see these guys again when they come back with Nevermore, not just because they are incredible live, but because after this tour, they're going to be working on their third album, and are gonna play some new songs in the fall. Unfortunately, they are coming to Chicago on October 29th, my dad's 50th birthday, so there's a very good chance I'm not going to be able to go. Oh well, there's always the next tour, hopefully a headlining show.
Pestilence: I had heard that they were awful at Maryland Deathfest, but when they played here, they weren't bad at all. I was up front for the first half of their set list, before getting shoved against the front railing and nearly getting my rib cage crushed. Their sound was good, and their stage presence wasn't bad at all. One thing I really liked was that the bass guitar was turned up very high, because Jeroen Paul Thesseling is a monster on that 6-string fretless. Mother of God, that amazed me. There's not much more to say about them, other than they were better than I thought they would be. It was good to see them back in the states after nearly 20 years, and it'd be cool if they came back again.
Overall, it was a great show. I hung out with cool people the whole night, got a Warbringer sticker to put on my car, and had a very fun time. Too bad that this is the only show in June that I'm going to.
Next show: Municipal Waste on July 10th? It's a huge maybe. If not, then Iron Maiden on July 18th for sure!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Concert Review - The Facemelter Tour 2010
Date: Wednesday, May 26th, 2010
Venue: Clearwater Theater, West Dundee, IL. This was my second time seeing a show here, and I honestly don't like it very much. The sound isn't very good and it's a pretty small venue. The last time I was here, the security guards were enforcing rules like dicks, but that's because the show was packed that time. This time there weren't many people, so they were more lenient. At least it's a straight shot from my house, but THE FUCKING CONSTRUCTION BLOWS.
Bands (from opener to headliner): Art of the Flesh, Conducting from the Grave, Annotations of an Autopsy, Misery Index, Arsis, Dying Fetus
Art of the Flesh - They weren't on the flier, so I assume that they're a local band. They were actually pretty good. Great stage presence and their members were good at what they did. Not much to say but I enjoyed them.
Conducting from the Grave - I'm not a fan of deathcore at all, especially when deathcore bands play live, but these guys were pretty damn good live. Incredible stage presence, and they knew how to get the crowd moving. I'm not a fan of their music at all, but they were very good live, and they're very nice in person too.
Annotations of an Autopsy - Dear fucking God HORRIBLE. Conducting from the Grave actually entertained me. These bro fucks did not. I was facepalming the entire time at every hxc br00tal xXBREAKDOWNXx. As if they weren't bad enough in the studio, live is just embarrassing, if not more. Their singer was wearing a bandanna over his fucking eyes, he looked like a god damn ghetto Mexican. And the worst part is, they're from England! I thought the English produced amazing music! Holy shit, I never want to see these guys again, I'd rather fucking see Suffokate, at least it's fun to mess with their singer.
Misery Index - I had never heard of these guys before, but they were really good. Amazing stage presence, fast and heavy songs to get the crowd moving and the heads banging, and just overall nuts. The bad part about it was that they had gear issues and had to cut their set short, which was pretty disappointing. I'm gonna have to check these guys out at some point, their studio stuff sounds great as well.
Arsis - I've wanted to see these guys for a while now, and I missed the last time they came around with Arch Enemy and Exodus because of work. I had heard bad things about them live, but they were actually great as well. They played Return, Forced to Rock, A March for the Sick, We Are the Nightmare, A Diamond For Disease, Sightless Wisdom, and The Sadistic Movement Behind Bereavement Letters. I may be forgetting a song there, but that's what I remember. I met the bassist and talked to the guitarist for a while after they played, they were really nice guys. I asked the guitarist (Nick) about any upcoming tours in the U.S. and he said he couldn't reveal anything, but all he told me was it was gonna be in September. He made it sound like it was gonna be a sick tour, so I can't wait for that!
Dying Fetus - This was my third time seeing Fetus, and like the last two times, they were absolutely nuts! They opened up with Praise the Lord (Opium for the Masses), and of course, DAT RIFF made the entire place headbang along to it. They got the place moving on nearly every song, and my neck is sore right now from headbanging the entire time. I wouldn't put them in the top 5 best live bands I've seen, but they're definitely in the top 10 or 15. From what I remember, along with Praise the Lord, they played (in no order) Your Treachery Will Die with You, Killing on Adrenaline, Skull Fucked, Your Blood is My Wine, Grotesque Impalement, Epidemic of Hate, Conceived into Enslavement, Ethos of Coercion, Homicidal Retribution, One Shot One Kill, and closed with Pissing in the Mainstream and Kill Your Mother, Rape Your Dog. It was an incredible set list, much longer than the last two times because they were supporting acts at those shows.
Overall, the show was great! Most of the bands were incredible, and I had one hell of a time! I will spend the rest of my day waiting for my neck to recover.
And the biggest highlight of the show - Drunk people outside fucking with people and cars passing by before the show - That made my day!
Next show: Pestilence on June 14th!
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Concert Review - Volcom Tour 2010
Date: Wednesday, May 19th, 2010
Venue: Canopy Club, Urbana, IL. I had never been here before, and it was 2 1/2 hours away, but it was a pretty decent venue. The sound wasn't top notch, but decent enough to enjoy the bands. All shows here are 18 years of age and over, so that's a plus on my part. There was a big screen in the background where bands would have album artwork, band logos, or a movie playing.
Bands (from opener to headliner): Valient Thorr, Baroness, Between the Buried and Me, Mastodon
Valient Thorr - They came on at 6:30, the time it was supposed to start (A metal show starting on time, no fucking way!) They're not a metal band, more hard rock, but still very good! I had started listening to them only a couple of months before this show. Their stage presence was amazing and their execution of the songs was nearly flawless. The frontman of VT was really into the show and pulled a Trevor Strnad by taking off his shirt 2 songs into the set. I met the singer at the merch booth after the show and he was a very nice guy. Unfortunately they didn't have any small patches, just back patches. I definitely would've used them as the back patch for my jacket if I didn't have my Atheist one already. I'm hoping VT comes back on their next tour, I'd love to see them again!
Baroness - I had never listened to these guys before the show, but they put on a nice set. They're more of Mastodon's style, which is sludge/progressive metal. Like Mastodon, they didn't interact with the crowd at all and made their songs lead into one another until the end when they thanked everyone. I started listening to them just yesterday and I'm impressed by their studio efforts as well. Maybe they'll come back as another supporting act or even headlining. Either way, I'd like to see these guys again.
Between the Buried and Me - This was my second time seeing BTBAM, and once again, they put on one hell of a show! Compared to their headlining show, the sound wasn't as good this time, but it's hard to top the House of Blues' sound system, but the sound wasn't bad this time. The one thing I was very happy about was that because the show was 18+, there would more than likely not be any hardcore dancers, unlike last time. And what do you know? I was right! People started mosh pits when they came on, and people were getting pushed to the front, which is a big no no at shows. Mosh pits should be kept in just one area, and it is usually like that for most shows. But here, there were morons pushing people up front, getting people pissed off. Aside from the crowd, BTBAM overall was amazing! Their set list was pretty strange in my opinion, consisting of Fossil Genera - A Feed from Cloud Mountain, Prequel to the Sequel, Backwards Marathon, Disease, Injury, Madness, and Mordecai. It was great to see them playing something from The Silent Circus, so I was very happy with them. Unfortunately the next tour they have is The Cool Tour, which isn't very cool because 80% of the lineup are screamo garbage bands. Hopefully they'll be back on another good tour, headlining or supporting.
Mastodon - The moment everyone was waiting for! This was my third time seeing Mastodon, the first time being at Mayhem Festival 2008, where their sound was awful. I couldn't comprehend anything that was going on. The second time was with Dethklok back in October of 2009, and they were much better there. The Aragon Ballroom's sound isn't very good, but they managed to sound decent. This time, the sound was more clear than the second time, and with a much longer set because they were headlining. Like the last time, they had a trippy movie going on in the screen behind them to go with Crack the Skye, which they played in it's entirety (again). I love that album, and in my opinion, it's one of the best albums, if not the best album of 2009. To see it played live is one hell of an experience. After they finished that, they took a small break and came back with a second set consisting of their older works. In order, they played Crusher Destroyer, Crystal Skull, I Am Ahab, Circle of Cysquatch, Aqua Dementia, Capillarian Crest, Iron Tusk, March of the Fire Ants, and closed with Blood and Thunder. This is one hell of a set list if you ask me.
Overall, the show was worth the longer drive and I had an amazing time! I only picked up a small Mastodon patch since I already have a Mastodon shirt and Between the Buried and Me shirt and they didn't have any other patches for me to get. This is one of those shows where all the bands performed great, and I hope all of them come back sometime in the near future!
I did see Gorod at a small club the next day, but it was such a small show that I'm not going to bother writing about it.
Next show: Dying Fetus on May 26th!
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